Technology Advice When Going Through a Divorce

Without question, we live in a highly advanced technological age. In fact, it seems almost that day-to-day and minute-to-minute, technology is advancing, changing, and evolving. Increasingly, it plays a role in almost every aspect of life in most first-world countries today. It should be no surprise then, that it also now plays an increasingly significant role in divorce as well.

There are a number of ways that technology is becoming increasingly relevant to divorce, and it is helpful, particularly if you are contemplating or currently going through a divorce to consider some of its impacts:

  • Social media: Social media. Chances are high that you use at least one social media platform, or that if you don’t, you know many people in your life who do.  Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn – All of these apps encourage connection and sharing, often on a daily basis. Social media is also now being used at an increasingly high rate in divorce cases, and is in fact being mentioned far more often by family law attorneys across the country as one of the common factors that plays a role in ending a marriage.  This only makes sense when so many people are used to sharing their lives regularly on various social media platforms without a second thought. Many people get so used to sharing their lives that they forget to think ahead about how certain information might be damaging. The truth of the matter is that once words are spoken or a post is made, it is out there for everyone to see. Even if you later have second thoughts and delete it, it may already have been captured through a screenshot or some other method. There are many apps available now which are created specifically for the purpose of taking screenshots and saving social media pages with forensic digital hashtags, all for the purpose of being used as evidence in cases. Think twice before sharing on social media – while it may feel good in the moment, it can be damaging in the long term, both personally and from a legal perspective.
  • Web browser history: It is estimated that there are literally billions of websites out there. There are also millions of applications for our smart phones. Many of these are helpful and beneficial to our day-to-day lives, but some can be very damaging to relationships and have a significant impact on divorce-related issues. Ashley Madison, for example, is a website that promotes extramarital affairs – and it has millions of users worldwide. Tinder is another app which uses GPS technology and interacts with social media platforms like Facebook to locate potential “matches” nearby, and many people use this application to find others with whom to engage in extramarital affairs. Beyond apps and websites, our web browsers are also capable of saving a tremendous amount of history. The things you search for, the sites you view – this information could be tracked and captured, so it is important to consider carefully what information you put out there and make available to others. Use of damaging social media and web browsing evidence could be harmful in a divorce case in any number of ways – It could reduce the amount of spousal support that is ordered, it could affect the custody you are awarded with respect to your children, and could potentially affect any number of other issues. Use it with caution.
  • Spyware: If you have reached the point in your marriage where you are either seriously contemplating or have decided upon divorce, chances are that there may very likely be some trust issues between you and your spouse. While this is not always the case, it is not at all unusual for marriage is to break down to the point where spouses become suspicious of one another for any number of reasons – that’s just human nature.

In our modern age, however, this distrust is beginning to manifest itself in new ways, ways which are in keeping with all of the highly advanced technology that is constantly right at our fingertips. Certainly, distrustful spouses have always spied on one another. Whether it was asking a friend to keep an eye on a spouse, hiring a private investigator, or simply snooping through belongings, people have always had this urge. In our modern era however, the act of physically tracking someone by using a private eye or attempting to spy by following someone or looking through their belongings is no longer even necessary in most instances.

Today, particularly in our era of smart phones, smart devices, and social media, spouses will often attempt to spy on one another digitally. this is a difficult urge to resist, unfortunately made even more difficult by the plethora of apps and methods available to spy in this way. Some of the different methods of spousal spying include installing spyware on a phone or computer, installing hidden video cameras around the house or in a vehicle, or even placing a hidden GPS tracking device on a car that the other spouse might be completely unaware of. There are keylogging devices that can be installed on computers, and recording devices that can be installed on phones.

For those who want to spy, the options are many – and the motives are understandable. Some feel that spying will provide the vindication that they need in instances where they believe their spouse is being unfaithful or continuing to engage in an addictive behavior that they are denying. Others believe that the information they obtain from spying will finally give them the courage and last bit of push they need to leave an unhealthy relationship. Still others desperately want to be proven wrong. Some are simply seeking confirmation of what they already know so they can have closure.

Regardless of these motivations, we would caution those who are considering using technology to spy in this way to reconsider. The truth of the matter is that legally, there are a number of problems with this sort of spying. In North Carolina, for example, some spying may be in violation of both federal and North Carolina wiretapping laws, including the Electronic Communications Privacy Act and the North Carolina Electronics Surveillance Act. These acts prohibit the intentional interception of wire oral or electron it communications. In North Carolina, there are also laws with respect to computer-related crimes, which make it illegal to intentionally gain access to another person’s computer or phone without authorization. Furthermore, while individuals are always free to record conversations that they themselves are a part of, it is illegal to record someone else’s conversations without their knowledge and consent. All of these behaviors can be very problematic from a legal perspective, and can ultimately cause far more harm to your own side of the divorce case then they can do to help.

This does not mean that you are without recourse if you believe your spouse is engaging in behaviors that he or she shouldn’t be. Certainly, if you believe your spouse has an addiction or is participating in an extramarital affair, and especially if you believe that these behaviors would be harmful to your children, you want to tell your attorney about your suspicions. Your attorney will be able to advise you as to what methods of gathering information are legal or not legal. You might be able to use a private investigator, or keep a journal, or record conversations that you are a part of. There are options which are available and legal and your attorney can best advise you as to those possibilities.

  • Do-it-yourself divorce: Sometimes, people are not using technology for the purpose of spying or uncovering evidence that will confirm their decision to divorce. Instead, they have already decided to divorce and are instead wanting to use technology with the goal of making their divorce cheaper and easier. There are a number of sites out there today that offer to provide boilerplate forms and basic materials for those people who want to represent themselves. While the desire to save money and time is always understandable, the reality of the situation is that using these websites does not always turn out that way. Often, while do-it-yourself divorce seems as if it may be easier and cheaper, the truth of the matter is that the law is complex, and it is easy to overlook important details that could make a significant difference in your case. In the end, this might end up costing you far more than you would otherwise save. Using a knowledgeable and experienced divorce attorney can reduce your stress, and save you time and money in the long run.

In many ways, technology is wonderful. It enhances our lives, it keeps us informed, and it makes many tasks easier, and more efficient. It can be beneficial and helpful during your divorce process too – it’s just important to be sure that you are using it in the right ways, and not in ways which can ultimately cause more harm than good. If you have questions about how technology might impact your particular divorce case, or need representation with respect to any other divorce-related matters, at The Law Offices of Dustin McCrary, we would be happy to meet with you and learn how we might be able to help.  Call us today.

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