If you are in the midst of a divorce, mediation might be a viable option for you. Mediation is an amicable negotiation with your spouse facilitated by a neutral third party. It is quicker, cheaper, and more private than traditional court proceedings, but it may only be suitable for some couples. If you have already decided on mediation, here are some tips to ensure a successful process.
Tips for a Successful Mediation
Find the Right Mediator
Choosing the right mediator is crucial. In North Carolina, mediation is unregulated, so anyone can claim to be a mediator without certification. Consider potential mediators’ experience, professional background, and approach to mediation. Some mediators have backgrounds in law, social work, or clergy, while others may have specific accounting or tax law skills. You might prefer a mediator with a particular expertise, depending on your needs. Research thoroughly, ask questions about their fees and methods, and choose someone who aligns with your goals.
Know Your Goals
Before starting mediation, clearly define your goals. Understand the distinction between your needs and wants. Create a vision for the big picture and be flexible. Knowing what you hope to achieve will help you stay focused and increase your chances of success.
Be Ready to Compromise
Mediation involves negotiation, and compromise is inevitable. Identify your non-negotiables, such as fair child custody or sufficient alimony, and differentiate them from less critical wants. Being prepared to compromise will make the process smoother and more effective.
Treat Your Spouse with Respect
Respect and civility are critical to a productive mediation. Approach the process with cooperation, even if emotions run high. Being respectful does not mean being weak; you can be polite yet firm. Communicate your compromises and justifications for your requests, highlighting mutual benefits where possible.
Prepare for Emotions
Divorce is inherently emotional, and mediation can trigger intense feelings. Control your emotions by focusing on your goals and practicing self-care. Techniques like deep breathing and meditation can help maintain your composure. Staying calm will prevent hasty decisions and keep you aligned with your objectives.
Plan Your Custody Schedule
If you have children, planning a custody schedule is essential. Draft a detailed plan with your spouse before mediation, covering holidays, birthdays, and vacations. You can revisit discussions with the mediator’s guidance if they become tense. Child custody provisions will influence child support obligations, so ensure all financial information is disclosed.
Consider Property Division
Have a property division plan in mind. Address issues like automobiles, bank accounts, retirement funds, and home ownership. Full financial disclosure is required to facilitate a fair division.
Be Patient
Mediation can be a lengthy process with unexpected challenges. Stay patient and focused on your goals. Even if your spouse is difficult, persistence is vital. Remember the big picture and remain calm. Patience will help you achieve a successful outcome.
The Law Office of Dustin McCrary – Here to Support You
At The Law Office of Dustin McCrary, we understand the complexities of mediation and are here to provide the support and guidance you need. If you’re considering mediation, contact us today to learn how we can help you navigate the process and reach a successful agreement.