Navigating Gray Divorce Retirement Issues In North Carolina
Divorce is never easy. That’s true whether you’ve been married for a few years or a few decades. As you get older, though, and when you’ve been married longer, divorce can take on added layers of difficulty for a variety of reasons. “Gray divorce” refers to the divorces of couples aged 50 and above.
Gray divorces can be challenging in a number of ways, particularly when it comes to issues like property division and retirement planning. After all, if a married couple has spent decades building a life together, separating that one life into two can be complicated. Divorce means more than just dividing assets – it may also involve reevaluating retirement plans that were initially created for shared financial goals, as well as revisiting long-term financial strategies and future expectations.
Let’s take a closer look together at some of the reasons for gray divorce and what steps you can take to protect yourself and your retirement if you find yourself in this situation.
Common Reasons for Gray Divorce
Without question, gray divorce is on the rise, and the reasons are multifaceted. Some of the most common reasons include:
- Empty nest syndrome: For many couples, the first 20 or 25 years of their marriage may be spent raising a family together. When children finally grow up and leave home, it can understandably create a significant shift in a marriage, as well as in the daily routines the family has been accustomed to for so many years. This is often known as “empty nest syndrome.” Often, couples find that once their children are no longer at home, they struggle to find what they have in common outside of their roles as parents. For some couples, this simply means taking time to adjust and adapt to a new reality, but for others, the closeness and connection doesn’t return. In such cases, some couples ultimately decide to proceed with a divorce.
- Financial differences: As couples near retirement age, arguments over financial issues can become more complex and more frequent. In today’s economy, some people have found it challenging to save enough for retirement, and contemplating how to continue paying the bills while also navigating the aging process can be overwhelming. In other cases, as the marriage progresses, issues of financial infidelity may arise, including hiding bills and other debts, maintaining secret bank accounts, making large purchases without consulting the other spouse, and other activities that could impact the quality and stability of a long-term marriage. When a couple has different financial goals and engages in different financial behaviors, this can create significant difficulties that eventually lead to divorce.
- Infidelity: Infidelity is one of the most common reasons for divorce regardless of age – and older couples are no exception. In fact, the older the couple is, the more of a betrayal it may ultimately seem to be. For many, it can be difficult to fathom that after decades spent together, one spouse might stray outside of the marriage. Unfortunately, this does happen. In some cases, couples can work through infidelity and the pain it causes with the help of a therapist and support from family and friends. In other cases, however, the pain is too deep, and divorce ultimately becomes the best path forward.
- Growing apart: Sometimes, there is no specific “reason” for the divorce. Sometimes, people simply grow apart from one another. As people age, they change. That’s simply a reality of life. Sometimes, people grow and change together, and other times, they grow apart. In some cases, those who choose gray divorce simply find that they no longer share interests, priorities, and common ground with their spouse.
- Societal changes: Without a doubt, divorce is more common now than it was several decades ago. As society changes and evolves, many people believe that there is no one-size-fits-all path toto a happy and successful life, and the expectation that people will necessarily get married and stay married to the same person forever is no longer as prevalent as it once was. Older couples are no exception.
These are only a few reasons why gray divorce is becoming increasingly common. Obviously, your circumstances will be slightly different from anyone else’s, and you will have your own reasons for deciding whether divorce is the right path forward for you. If you do make that decision, however, you should be aware that it’s essential to take all necessary steps to protect your retirement and financial future.
How to Protect Your Retirement
Without question, a gray divorce can alter your retirement plans – and likely will, at least to some extent. There may be no way to get around that fact completely. The good news, though, is that there are steps you can take to minimize the impact and protect your retirement and long-term financial future. A few of those steps may include:
- Consulting a financial planner: Financial planners can be helpful with many aspects of preparing for your financial future, whether you’re going through a divorce or not. During a gray divorce, however, they can be invaluable. A knowledgeable and experienced financial planner will be able to help you assess and determine the true value of your assets, including what your retirement plans are worth at the time of your divorce and how they might be expected to grow in the future. The financial planner you choose should be able to help you realistically assess the financial impact of your divorce and create a post-divorce financial strategy that will put you on solid financial footing in the future.
- Assessing your investment portfolio: After a gray divorce, you may need to adjust your investment strategy to reflect your new financial situation. Due to the divorce, your investment time horizon, risk tolerance, and future financial plans may have changed – perhaps significantly. Reassessing your portfolio and making informed decisions about it with the guidance of a knowledgeable financial planner will be beneficial as you prepare for the future.
- Thinking through post-divorce tax strategies: Among the many impacts that divorce can have financially, it’s important not to overlook how it might affect your taxes. Because divorce can often have significant tax implications, depending on your circumstances, it would be wise to consult with a knowledgeable tax advisor who can help you navigate those issues. You may need to reassess and adjust your tax strategies as a result of your new income level or due to changes in your overall assets and portfolio. An experienced tax advisor should be able not only to explain the tax implications of your divorce but also to help you craft a new plan that will better fit your circumstances going forward.
- Healthcare planning: As you age, healthcare expenses will naturally become more significant. Following a gray divorce, and as you prepare for retirement, you will want to plan for how you’ll cover medical costs. This may be through private insurance, Medicare, cash flow, or a combination of all of these. Really thinking through what your potential expenses might be and how you plan to pay for them can reduce stress and expense in the long run.
- Don’t overlook your emotional well-being: Divorce can be difficult at any time – and this can especially be true later in life. You may be experiencing a wide range of emotions, some of which may be very painful and overwhelming. If you feel that way, you should know that it’s completely normal and understandable. You should also know that there is help available. Seek that help when you need it. Seek counseling from a trained therapist who can help you work through your issues and emotions and support from friends and family who care about you. This will put you in the best mental state to make informed financial decisions going forward, and it will ultimately be best for your overall well-being.
While these are only a few tips of many, we hope they’re helpful. If you find yourself facing a gray divorce, there’s no question that you might feel overwhelmed and intimidated. You may be grieving the loss of your marriage and the future that you thought you had together. While that’s understandable, the good news is that these feelings won’t last forever.
The silver lining is that divorce also offers an opportunity for self-discovery, new chapters ahead, and a chance to rebuild, learn, and grow. You can certainly navigate this process successfully and create a fulfilling life in your post-divorce years. At the law office of Dustin McCrary, we’re here to help.
THE LAW OFFICE OF DUSTIN MCCRARY – HERE FOR YOU
At The Law Office of Dustin McCrary, we understand that divorce and retirement are two of the most significant life transitions many people face. Sometimes, transitions like these can feel overwhelming and intimidating – and that’s understandable. This is especially true when you’re confronting both of these transitions simultaneously. We understand that, and we’re here to help. Although these life transitions may feel overwhelming, they can be managed. We understand every aspect of divorce law, and we’re here to help you navigate the challenging parts of the process and move forward to a better and brighter future. If you’re ready to get started, please call us today. We look forward to helping you soon.