Even in the very best of circumstances, divorce is difficult. This is even more true when you find yourself in a situation that might add an additional layer of difficulty. Being pregnant while getting divorced can certainly be one such circumstance. While bringing a new life into the world can be one of the most amazing experiences in life, it can also add some unique complications to the divorce process.
If you live in North Carolina and you are considering divorce while pregnant (or if your pregnant spouse is divorcing you), it’s important to know and understand your legal rights. Let’s take a closer look at what you might need to know if you, or someone you love, are in this situation.
In some states, pregnant individuals are not permitted to obtain a divorce. In these states, which include Arizona, Arkansas, Missouri, and Texas, courts prefer to wait until after a child is born to address all issues related to paternity.
While North Carolina is not one of those states, it is important to understand that North Carolina has certain laws about separation, divorce, and child custody that may affect a situation involving pregnancy. Let’s take a closer look at some of these laws together.
Pregnancy During a Legal Separation
In North Carolina, a married couple must be separated for at least one year in order to be eligible for a divorce. Essentially, this means that the couple lives in separate residences with the intent of ending the marriage. After the one-year separation period, the couple may file for divorce and officially begin the legal process. Of course, a lot can happen in a year – including a pregnancy. A spouse may be pregnant before the official separation – or a pregnancy could occur after.
As a general rule, if a wife conceives a child during the period of separation, the law will presume that the husband is the father of the child, and if the child is born during the marriage, even when the couple is legally separated, the hospital may attempt to put the soon-to-be-ex spouse on the birth certificate. This can be less than ideal if the spouse is not the biological father.
If this issue arises, the true biological father of the child can take steps to have his name added to the birth certificate. In North Carolina, this process is called “legitimation.” During the legitimation process, the biological father and the soon-to-be-ex spouse will both be parties to the action as a result of certain rights that are normally presumed for the birth of a child during a marriage. A DNA test is often conducted for proof during the legitimation process, although it is not always required.
Certainly, if you find yourself on either side of this situation, having an attorney who can help file all necessary paperwork and guide you through the process will be essential. Doing so will help ensure that all parties’ rights are adequately protected.
A Look at Child Custody and Co-Parenting Issues
In some cases, the biological father is not part of the marriage – but in many other cases, a married couple conceives a child and makes the decision to divorce during the course of the pregnancy. In these situations, there aren’t questions about paternity, but there are still issues to address regarding co-parenting and child custody.
If at all possible, both parents should be involved in the child’s life as much as possible despite the divorce. After all, although you may no longer be husband and wife, you will always be parents. That’s why creating a shared parenting plan that works well for both of you is essential. Committing to cooperation and open communication is important and will be best for everyone in the long run.
There are many issues that you will need to address – not only custody itself and what custody plan will work best for your family but also lifestyle issues, financial issues, and many other matters. As a result, consulting an attorney who knows and understands the law regarding child custody and child support will be essential. You don’t want to go through this process alone. You need a guide on this journey, and having an attorney who can identify the important issues and help you work through them can make all the difference.
In addition, working with a family therapist can be very helpful. This is true regardless of whether this is your first pregnancy or whether you have other children. Many issues arise during a divorce, and emotions can run high. Having someone who is trained to help you continue to communicate effectively and work through those issues toward finding solutions for shared goals will be tremendously helpful.
A Note About Self-Care
Although not necessarily a legal matter itself, we do feel it important to note how essential adequate self-care is throughout the process of pregnancy during a divorce. If you are pregnant, both you and your child need and deserve ample rest, nourishing meals, and help with tasks that may seem overwhelming. Pregnancy can be a wonderful time in life – but it is not without its challenges.
Adding a stressful legal process to the situation isn’t necessarily ideal – but sometimes that’s simply life. To get through it and care for yourself and your child, don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed. Don’t hesitate to step back and rest when you should. Doing so is the best choice for everyone.
On the other hand, if you are a soon-to-be-ex spouse whose wife has gotten pregnant, you may feel worried and anxious about how everything will work out, regardless of whether it is your child or not. That’s understandable. While it’s not easy, it’s essential to take the time you need to focus on your mental health and self-care to ensure that you can move forward and be at your best during this process.
The Law Office of Dustin McCrary – Here for You
At The Law Office of Dustin McCrary, we understand divorce. Why? Because it’s all we do. We don’t dabble in divorce like some law firms do. Divorce is our entire focus, and our passion is helping our clients through a very difficult situation, and on to a better and brighter chapter ahead. We know that this journey won’t be an easy one, but it can be one that is worthwhile. That’s why we’re ready to meet you where you are and walk with you each step of the way. We would love to have the opportunity to talk to you, learn your story, and let you know how we can help. Give us a call today. We look forward to speaking with you soon.