There are plenty of rumors that circulate about child custody cases. Some people have heard that mothers have superior custody rights. Others have heard that fathers are always required to pay child support because mothers will always have primary custody. There can be any number of misconceptions – and it can be confusing. We’re here to help dispel some of those myths and to provide some clarity as to custody laws in North Carolina.
What rights do mothers have? What rights do fathers have? Will one parent be preferred over the other? All of these questions are reasonable and understandable. First and foremost, it’s important to understand that in North Carolina, like most states, both mothers and fathers have equal custody rights, unless a judge decides otherwise.
In North Carolina, like many other states, there is no longer a presumption that the mother is the default primary caretaker of the children. While this was historically the case in days when fathers were the primary breadwinners and mothers usually stayed home, this is no longer the arrangement in many modern-day families. As a result, today there is a presumption that both parents want to be active, involved, and equal participants in their children’s lives. Generally, the legal system works to make that happen whenever possible.
A Look at the Different Types of Custody in North Carolina
As part of understanding parental custody rights, it is important to know that there are two primary types of custody in North Carolina:
- Legal Custody: Legal custody is essentially the right of a parent to be involved in important matters in a child’s life. This means participating in decisions regarding matters like education, extracurricular activities, religion, medical care, and more. It is not tied to or depending upon where the child physically resides. Parents can share joint legal custody even if they live far apart and the child resides primarily with one parent most of the time.
- Physical Custody: In contrast to legal custody, physical custody refers to the place where the children actually reside – that is, their physical location. Which parent do they stay with, and when? Depending upon the location of the parents, the routines of the family, and the best interests of the children, physical custody may be divided in any number of ways. Certainly, if both parents are loving and attentive and want to be involved in the child’s life, a 50-50 custody split is ideal, if it is possible. A custody split can be arranged in any number of ways. Some parents choose a week-on-week off alternating schedule, other parents choose a 2-2-3 schedule, and other parents choose for the child to live with one parent during the week and the other parent on weekends, holidays, and summer breaks. Truly, there are any number of creative ways to arrange custody if the parties are willing to cooperate and communicate effectively.
What are the rights of mothers and fathers when it comes to these two types of custody? Quite simply the answer is “equal”.
How to Create a Custody Arrangement
Although both parents have equal custody rights under the law, there are multiple ways to reach a decision as to what might be the best custody arrangement for a particular family. Often, those who have not been through the divorce process make the mistaken assumption that every issue in a divorce will be battled out in a courtroom much like we see on popular television dramas. Fortunately, this is very often not the case.
In fact, today, the huge majority of divorce cases are resolved almost entirely outside of a courtroom. Many families are opting for alternative methods of dispute resolution like mediation, arbitration, or collaborative law. Choosing one of these methods not only reduces the stress and expense associated with litigating matters in court, but it also gives the parties the freedom and flexibility to truly think through their issues and resolve them in a way that works best for their family.
When it comes to custody, there are truly very few limits on the arrangement that parents can make. Parents can think through a variety of details like their jobs, the locations of their different residences, their routines, and their children’s needs – and truly create an arrangement that works well considering all of those different factors.
While reaching an agreement on custody and other important issues outside of the courtroom is ideal if possible, the truth is that sometimes this just isn’t a feasible option. There may be any number of reasons for this. Sometimes, one or both parties are simply too emotional to negotiate effectively. In other cases, there is a power imbalance that makes open and honest communication very difficult. In still other situations, one party may have a mental issue or other condition that prevents them from communicating and cooperating effectively. Whatever the reason may be, if a couple is unable to reach an out-of-court agreement on custody, a judge will ultimately decide on custody in the case.
If a court is asked to decide custody, the parties will be allowed to present their evidence to the court and make their arguments as to what they feel might be the best custody arrangement. In making this determination, the court will seek to make a decision that is in the “best interests” of the children involved. To make that determination, the court will look at a wide variety of factors pertaining to the children’s physical safety and well-being, mental and emotional health, social and moral development, the preferences of the child (depending upon age), and more.
THE LAW OFFICE OF DUSTIN MCCRARY – HERE FOR YOU
At The Law Office of Dustin McCrary, we understand all aspects of the divorce process, including the difficult dynamics that can exist in complicated custody matters. For most parents, their children are their foremost concern, and that’s why we’re here to help you handle not only complex custody issues but every other aspect of your divorce as well. When you are going through a difficult journey, you need an experienced guide. The divorce journey is no different. At The Law Office of Dustin McCrary, we will meet you right where you are, and we will help you move forward. If you’re ready to get started, give us a call. We look forward to speaking with you soon.