If you share custody with your ex-spouse, the dynamics can be difficult for raising and disciplining your children. In an ideal world, you and your ex would have the same standards and rules when it comes to parenting. However, even when the custody agreement was created in the most considerate and cordial circumstances, there are typically differences when it comes to parenting styles.

These differences could arise in scheduling issues, spending money on gifts for children, diet or sleep habits, discipline techniques, among other concerns. It is not uncommon for these problems to arise or to feel that your child is getting spoiled. Here are a few tips for solving this problem:

Talk to your ex first: There is no need to get your divorce attorney involved; just non-confrontationally discuss it with your ex.  They may not realize the situation even exists or they may not have considered it from your point of view. Many times this situation occurs when an ex feels guilty for putting the child in the divorced situation.

What if you can’t get your ex to understand? This happens all the time, so don’t be surprised. However, there is potential for a major pitfall: children can become manipulative or emotionally insecure if they don’t understand where they stand with each parent. If this occurs, you may want to consider taking your child to a licensed counselor to discuss the situation.

Regardless of the outcome, remember to remain consistent! Your rules are there for a reason and they need to be followed.